Self Diagnosis

I have Shrinking Foot Disease. Yes I do. Now....you probably don't see the letters MD after my name, so you may be wondering just how I have been diagnosed. Here's the thing. I have on a pair of shoes today that I've worn several times over the last few week....I know....the HORROR of having to wear a pair more than once a month....anyway....today....the right shoe is way too big. So much too big that I can't keep it on when I walk. Thus....Shrinking Foot Disease. I'm devastated....why couldn't it be Shrinking Fat Disease.....now how much fun would THAT be?? Or Shrinking Arm Flab disease. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the possibilities. Maybe Shrinking Rear End disease, followed closely by Shrinking Thigh disease. But no....sadly my Shrinking disease has centered on my right foot. I can see poverty in my old age because I'm going to have to buy two pair of shoes....same pair...but in two sizes....one for the left foot and one for the right. Hopefully I can find someone who also has this disease but in the LEFT foot.....then there is hope for my personal economy. So if you see me today.....don't walk to closely to me.......you don't want to have an eye put out by a shoe flying through the air! P.S....I'm hoping Shrinking Foot Disease is contagious and more WORTHY parts of my body will catch it!!