Road Trip...Part Deux....or Dos....

Yesterday I began my travelogue of my 150 mile road trip. I know that it's really kind of pitiful. I mean a TRUE road trip has to be more miles than that...but it is what it is. And, by the way, I'm still worrying about that poor lady and her shoe situation. I wish she'd read my blog and let me know she maxed out her husband's credit card replacing all those shoes. Anyway......after the shoe episode,I made my way on down the road probably about 8-9 more miles. It was then I saw a hearse headed toward me before turning onto a county road. OOOOOOOOOOOOOO..I forgot the shoes and became concerned about the poor family who must have had a death. I wondered who it might be. The hearse was dark blue and very shiny as they tend to be. I mean really waxed and polished. Very very nice. I came by the road on which it turned (how do you like that for very proper grammar?) and as I did, I noticed that it wasn't turning. In fact, it was merely turning around and following ME!!!!! HUH? O no!! Did these people know something I didn't? Was it like a sign from God? Had they gotten a Divine message to go out on Texas SH 6 and follow the white Avalon? I mean, really, do people merely go riding around in a HEARSE just for the fun of it? I think they probably have a purpose for being out and about; I mean those things look like gas guzzlers to me. We were several miles from any town; I don't think they were trying to dry off a fresh car wash trip. I gotta tell ya...I immediately punched Button 1 on my FM 1 and began to listen and sing to Christian music. Wouldn't you? I wanted my preparations to begin just in case. I wanted to slow down to about 20 and be sure I made it home safely. I thought maybe I should just stop and walk. Then I thought maybe the shoes were somehow connected to the Funeral Home and they were out trying to find them. I wouldn't let myself get past that thought as to why a mortician might be looking for those shoes. Some things one just has to put out of one's mind. Anyway....I assumed the position of a careful driver.....hands at 10 and 2.....cruise set on EXACTLY 70......eyes on road....no texting and driving(not that I would EVER consider that)..and I made my way home. If there was a divine message it must not have been for me. At some point the hearse turned off and I kept on safely and steadily. Whew...another bullet dodged.....is that poor wording? Part Three tomorrow.....and it involves food!!

Road Trip.....

I love a good road trip....even if it's by myself. I can plug in Pandora on my Iphone or set the radio to a favorite station, and just sing myself along the road. I had a fun road trip today. It was only about 150 miles, and a trip I've done countless times. Some of these trips are totally uneventful....some not so much, like the time I had TWO blowouts on the same trip. But today's was just entertaining. Three totally random things happened. Here's the first......I'm driving along Texas SH 6 minding my own business when I see some 'things' in the road ahead. Now my husband will tell you that the fact I saw anything over 10 feet in front of the car is a miracle in itself. Yeah.....right! Anyway, I was being my usual observant self and saw this cluster of fairly small objects. I slowed down to see what they were and hoping against hope they weren't little dead animals. That would have brought a fit of hysteria on...but they weren't. They were shoes. Yep...about 12 shoes. Now I know you're questioning how I knew there were 12.....well, I stopped and turned around and counted. They were strewn all over the highway. Lest you might think I was doing a little 'school' shopping while I was stopping, you would be wrong. Although there WAS one pretty cute pump. It was kinda peachy colored with a stacked heel. Here's the thing.....none of them had a match. There were literally twelve different shoes. So, I ask myself.....how do these things happen? How do 12 mismatched shoes find themselves scattered down the highway? Wouldn't you think that if they fell out of a trailer, maybe there would have been at least ONE pair? I can just visualize the poor woman who has stopped for the night...possibly at her new house or new apartment, or on her own road trip and suddenly realizes that she has 12 shoes.....no matches...just 12 shoes. So in my mind I begin to mull this over.....I'm pretty sure she might have done a little panicking...especially if there were some Jimmy Choo's or some Christian Louboutin's in the bunch. Actually now I'm panicking for her. I saw no red soles so maybe we're safe on the Louboutin's....but the Choo's...I can't say. I'm thinking maybe she's backtracking from Lubbock or Amarillo...but maybe, just maybe, she's at a mall.....doing her shoe thing. Good luck and Happy shopping!!

Query Query.......

I love my Iphone....I really do. I love most everything about it. I have lots of Apps I use daily. I have my favorite news apps, I use Google maps, I love to play Words With Friends and Hanging With Friends. I search the internet on it. I like it's purple case. I like that I can take pics of things and store them. I read on my Kindle app while waiting for things. I look up words in the Dictionary. I get on Facebook and Twitter. I so love ICloud, but have no clue what it does. Are you waiting for my Query? I thought you were. I'm a straight up kind of girl.....I like my Iphone to be vertical. Can someone please tell me why the screen sometimes does the sideways thing? Now, before you think I'm a complete idiot, I do know that when I turn it a certain way....oops..there goes the screen. But sometimes I swear it does it when I lay it down. I hate that...then the twisting and turning begins. It's like one of those hand held games with the little silver balls that you're trying to get to follow a path. This frustrates me to no end. Once it starts that gyrating,I swear it just keeps on because somehow...maybe Icloud.....knows it exasperates me. Many times it goes on so long I'm dizzy.......notice I said dizzy.....not diTzy. I'm sure my bobbing head makes me look like an idiot when I'm trying to follow the back and forth of the screen. People probably think I'm some poor old woman who has escaped from the Home and is trying to find her way back. Do you think that's what I look like? DON'T answer!! I wonder if I can lock the screen where it won't do that? You may answer that. That's my QUERY!

Ready, Set, Read!!

I have been on somewhat of a reading frenzy. That's both Good News and Bad News. Reading frenzies are really good for the soul. They sooth and relax; they allow you to be your new best friend, or to live in the most magnificent places. Losing yourself in a book is the best form of Prozac. A really good book has glorious streams and pairings of words that make you say....wow. Words by themselves are just that...words. But when put together in an artful form, they become much much more. They become parts of you. They create a pause in your life. Your breath may hold for just a minute as you reread the same sentence over and over. You then begin to wonder just what wonderful mind put them together. You might ponder how many times the author played with that sentence to get it just right. I think sometimes authors are just so adept at making word necklaces that they string them in just the right manner the very first time the sentence is written. I would imagine though, there are other times when it takes many many edits to get them perfect. But when they are done, there has got to be such a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I love reading frenzies. But I did say Bad News didn't I. There are maybe one or two downsides to these frenzies....or at least in my world. Very little else gets done. I become sad at the end of a particularly wonderful book. I may or may not put on a pound or two because of extreme sitting and snacking. So here's the thing. If you see me and my jeans may be a touch too tight....or you call to drop by and I put you off for a day.....Diagnosis.....READING FRENZY.

Pantries, Cabinets and Other Obnoxious Things.....

Today I have cleaned out my pantry and some of my kitchen cabinets. IF YOU ONLY KNEW......:))) I would really love to go into great detail, but you might get some tiny little bitty inkling about just how neglected they had been. You would not come see me. You would not let your children be in my classroom. You would change lanes when you saw me driving down the street. I would probably be banned from every public building in the Great State of Texas...possibly shipped off to some Colony for the Neglectful People. My house might even be designated as the Colony for the Neglectful People. And then of course now I have the dilemma of 6 lids to a set of cookware and only 2 pans. Just what in the heck has happened to the other 4 pots? Did I take them somewhere and only bring back the lids? That opens up a different entire discussion about Neglect. I can understand losing those throw away plastic Gladware things. But pots and pans? They do have some substance. I would think I'd know I was throwing them away and stop myself. Do you think I would? Well, as in any situation..there is Good News and Bad News.......Good News is I now have a cleaner kitchen. Bad News is this will only happen again, and at that point I may be down to 6 lids and no pots.

I Have Just Seen.........

all the orange cones I need to see in a lifetime....no 25 lifetimes. There is NOT A ROAD in Dallas County that doesn't have 5 million of them. I guess maybe it's the way to make you think fall is on it's way. It certainly isn't a way to divert traffic safely, control traffic in any form or fashion, or build your self esteem. OK, OK, I'm not a fan of more than two cars on the road at any given time...and one being ME. But when 6 lanes become 2 lanes then 1/3 of a lane, well, frankly My Dear.............Navie the Navigator was speaking to me but she didn't understand that every road was under construction nor the zigs and zags of the 436,987 cars in MY lane that were going 85 miles an hour. Hats off to you people that do this every day.....you are nuts. I'm mean certifiable. I'm sorry, you just are. I love great food and good restaurants; I love nice cool malls with plenty of fun stores; I do not love any of the former enough to live with all those cones. Orange is not my color.....on my shirt or in my traffic lane.

Yep.........

It's a fact....summertime summertime is here. The first wonderfully warm days have turned into 'fry that egg on the sidewalk' days here in Texas. My thoughts immediately go to not only my water bill, but also my electricity bill. I have successfully killed the memory of those from last summer. It keeps me from insanity. I dread the mail this time of year. Sometimes those particular bills are so big the envelopes won't fit into my P.O. Box. I bring them home and let them sit on the bar for awhile. I wonder what the interest rate at the bank is these days....and if they make water and electricity loans. I don't know why I'm surprised every summer when it gets hot. It's not like I've just moved from Alaska to Texas....been in Texas all my life and I'm pretty sure every summer has been hot. But we all walk around and say things like...can you believe how hot it is? Really? It's July;it's Texas;it's hot. About this time cell phone pics of car temperature gauges start showing up on FB. And we all then say...wow. Again....really? It's Texas;it's July;it's hot. I'm calling the bank....just in case.

I Need To Find.......

I need to find an official document; it is somewhere in this house. It is not where it should be. I'm pretty sure it is hiding from me. Do these things happen to you? I think maybe wherever it is, it is comfortable and doesn't want to be drug out and disturbed. Thus is has shrunk itself to the size of the head of a pin. We have a very very official fire-proof safe in this house. It could withstand a nuclear attack. It is full of worthless stuff that doesn't need to be protected. Not an official document one in it. Why is that? So I'm mentally counting the drawers in this house that this document could be in and I can't seem to count that high. I have a degree in English and Spanish...that makes me totally incoherent when it comes to numbers. Back to my inability to be organized......I may need to hire 15 people to come help me with this hunt. Needle in a haystack syndrome has set in......I want to call the mobile shredder truck to come sit in my driveway as I make my way through all the drawers. I don't care what it costs. I'll gladly pay to shred all these receipts from 1979 I'm finding. I may need two trucks. It is out of control. I have found 4,623 keys. I have no clue what any of them are supposed to unlock. Possibly a house I rented 35 years ago? Maybe a car I traded in when I was 23? Do you think an official document can morph into a key or a receipt from 1979? I think possibly they can, or have the ability to be invisible when they want to be. The good news is that I now realize I need to join Unorganized Anonymous....the bad news is I need to find an official document.

Hello? Hello?

I washed my husband's cell phone two weeks ago. It was washed, spinned, rinsed and spinned again. Yep...I did a NUMBER on it....get it? Well, anyway, I can't convince him to go buy another one. I am really trying not to read anything into this.....but I must admit that random thoughts are popping into my head. Does he not want to talk to me when he's not at home? Can he really function in this day and age without one? It really makes me wonder if I've truly married a cave man. I mean he is somewhat of a throwback to the days of yore..but I'm saying even the Rifleman, the Lone Ranger and Tonto would have had a cell phone if had been possible. I can just see the Rifleman twirling his rifle in one hand and dialing with the other...can't you? And I'm sure Tonto's password on his Iphone would have been Kimosabe. True, the Lone Ranger might have had to remove his mask to text, and that would have been troublesome but still. So that brings me back to maybe my husband of many many years, just prefers to remain 'out of touch'. Yes, I could go to AT&T and buy one for him, but there are just somethings a man's gotta do on his own. So far now....it's out of sight, out of hearing, messaging or speaking. Hello? Hello?

Timorous Tuesday

I would hate to be Tuesday...wouldn't you? I mean Tuesday......absolutely nothing to say about it. Monday is hated.....Wednesday is Officially Hump Day(at least it is if you're from the South).....Thursday is a 'we are so close to the weekend' day....Friday is an ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh day.....no need to explain Saturday nor Sunday. But what do you say about Tuesday? Hmmmmmmm??? I'm listening? You're not saying anything are you? Tuesday is just that day that separates Hated Day from Hump Day. Tuesday sits on the calendar and probably wishes for someone sometime to give it credit. I'm pretty sure Tuesday is jealous of the rest of the days. I mean, even if Monday is hated, at least it is noticed. Tuesday is that brown chair that sits in the corner and nobody even sees it. Or it's the grey building on a side street that people pass by and forget its there. Probably Tuesday has some sort or complex or personality disorder because it is so overlooked. We still have a chance today to say,'Thank You Tuesday! Thank you for being a day of my week that just sits there and takes whatever I throw at you.' Ok.....I feel better...I've given Timorous Tuesday it's 15 minutes of fame.

Can You Imagine......

Winning the Lottery, walking on the moon, reading minds, painting a masterpiece, jumping ropes for 36 hours straight, holding your breath for a day, inventing the cure for cancer, walking up the winding steps of a lighthouse, going a week without your cell phone, having a photographic memory, meeting the Wizard of Oz, being 10 feet tall, disappearing at will, cooling your jets, speaking 15 languages, mowing your yard with manicure scissors, reading a book back to front, being Forrest Gump, reliving a huge mistake, always having to drive backing up, being God, going hungry for months, jumping on a pogo stick for miles.......you can't? Why not?

Some Days Ya Just Gotta Have........

A Co-Cola. A real, honest to goodness straight from an aluminum can Coca-Cola....no diet, no Zero....the real McCoy. Not in a bottle.....not over ice....straight from a cold can. The opening pop and fizz of that can makes every calorie worth it. You know you're in for a carbonation moment. Then that first swallow.....wow....it cools your mouth, your throat, and all the way down you feel that cold tasty swallow. I love cold tea, cold water, cold lemonade. But some days, in this hot west Texas heat......nothing will do but a red and white can. Not particularly good for your girlish figure, not great for your blood sugar levels, but oooooooooo so darn good for your Outlook on Life. But here's the thing.....you can't let it sit.....nope, just down that thing. Luke-warm, it loses it's magic. In my mind's eye, I can see that cowboy on that horse with sweat running down his face and his hat low on his brow. His head is tilted back and he's draining the can. His day just got better. Yep.....some days ya just gotta have...................

Expectations......

What are your expectations in life? I think expectations are gifts, not rights. We expect to be happy. We expect to be healthy. We expect the car will start, the refrigerator light will come on when we open the door. Expectations change with age. Teenagers expect to be bored in school, hang out with friends and reach 21 when life will really change for the better. Young couples expect to buy a home, raise a family and attend soccer, basketball, football and dance classes for the next 18+ years. Middle age arrives with it's own expectations.....kids out of the nest, more free time, money in the bank, retirement on the distant horizon. Old age expectations are still foreign to me....:))). But I do expect to arrive there at some point. Here's the thing about expectations. You have to work for them. They do not miraculously appear in your life. What I know not to expect......dishes washing themselves, lottery to be won, jobs to be easy, money to flow freely, animal hair to dance itself to the trash, socks to match in the laundry, life to be problem free. Expectations to fall from the sky without hard work and determination, just isn't happening. What are your expectations today? I'd love to know.

Just a little something..,

I can remember growing up my mom saying after every meal.. I need just a little something sweet. This has stayed with me all my life. Just a little something.... We all need just a little something to make our day complete. Just a little love, acceptance, respect, fulfillment, completeness. I hope you've had your Just a Little Something today.

Uh Oh

The fact that I"m still drinking coffee at nearly 11 o'clock in the morning doesn't bode well for a productive day. The fact that I"m drinking my husband's coffee rather than mine...really makes it strange. We don't agree on coffee....he likes perked...I like dripped.....he likes his somewhat weaker than mine. But I was simply too lazy this morning to make my own....so I'm stealing his. He drinks Community Brand coffee....I drink whatever I can get my hands on. So here sits my wonderful University of Texas Tervis Tumbler coffee mug filled with a little too weak coffee and I'm perfectly happy to sip it instead of taking the 3 minutes to make my own. It is rather amusing that he has NO clue I'm drinking his coffee and he seems somewhat perplexed that his freshly perked coffee is vanishing so quickly......:)) The couch will clearly be my best friend today. And happily so!!

Patriotism and Snacking.....

There are a lot of Great American Pastimes.....Baseball....Monday Night Football...movie/tv watching..the list goes on and on. But the one I'm most fond of is Snacking....now there's a great AMERICAN pastime anybody can do well. So on this Patriotic Holiday....July 4th.....Independence Day.....Happy Birthday USA, I feel it is my duty as an American to SNACK......my PATRIOTIC duty. I'm going to snack on all American food. Some of these will include chips and dips, popcorn, cookies, ice cream and soda. And in case you're wondering, there will also be non-snacks such as hamburgers, tuna fish and deviled eggs. I am going to do my duty to my country all day long. It's a sacrifice; it's not good for my cholesterol, tryglycerides, fatty tissue or waistline. But it is my duty and I shall NOT turn my back on it. I shall snack with gusto and zeal, making the most of every bite. I will savor each taste. I will look forward to my next trip to the pantry and fridge. I will drink Coke, Sweet Tea and other beverages that true Americans relish. I ask you....doesn't doing OUR part in honor of this great nation make us feel proud? I, for one, say YES!!!

A Strange Phenonmena....

Clearly Glad Ware plastic containers are not sterile (as in the inability to have babies), but their tops are. How else to explain the phenomena going on in my container drawer? The tubs outnumber the tops....it's just a fact of life here on the Brannan Farm. I buy those handy little clear containers in all shapes and sizes to store things in the fridge. I buy SETS of those containers....I don't buy bottoms without tops. I don't throw the tops away....but here in my over-sized storage drawer there are way more dishes than lids. It's similar to the sock in dryer phenomena...but I can explain that.....socks sneak out of your dryer one by one and attach themselves to your car tires....then they go on road trips and fling themselves off whenever they feel the need to do so. I don't think Glad containers can manage that...thus the only logical thing is that the containers have the ability to reproduce, but not tops. This leads to a world of nightmarish visions about the containers...but I choose not to go there.

You've Done It Again.....

Congrats Elin Hildebrand....you've managed to sidetrack me from all my 'to do' list. I'm in the middle of reading her newest book....Summerland. As always in her novels, Nantucket is the setting. That alone draws me into her books. I want to BE in one of those wonderful old grey shingled homes that have stood the test of time and saltwater. I want to walk those beaches, watching the ocean push and pull. I want to sit with an ice cold beer and have butter drip down my chin as I savor lobster, crab and other seafood delights.....O...but back to the book. This plot begins with a tragic accident involving Island kids. Of course, it then begins to delve into the psyche of friends and parents. The cyclone that tragedy becomes among a close knit community draws the reader into every page. I am a true Hildebrand fan and have enjoyed every book she has written. Ditto on this one.