I Need To Find.......

I need to find an official document; it is somewhere in this house. It is not where it should be. I'm pretty sure it is hiding from me. Do these things happen to you? I think maybe wherever it is, it is comfortable and doesn't want to be drug out and disturbed. Thus is has shrunk itself to the size of the head of a pin. We have a very very official fire-proof safe in this house. It could withstand a nuclear attack. It is full of worthless stuff that doesn't need to be protected. Not an official document one in it. Why is that? So I'm mentally counting the drawers in this house that this document could be in and I can't seem to count that high. I have a degree in English and Spanish...that makes me totally incoherent when it comes to numbers. Back to my inability to be organized......I may need to hire 15 people to come help me with this hunt. Needle in a haystack syndrome has set in......I want to call the mobile shredder truck to come sit in my driveway as I make my way through all the drawers. I don't care what it costs. I'll gladly pay to shred all these receipts from 1979 I'm finding. I may need two trucks. It is out of control. I have found 4,623 keys. I have no clue what any of them are supposed to unlock. Possibly a house I rented 35 years ago? Maybe a car I traded in when I was 23? Do you think an official document can morph into a key or a receipt from 1979? I think possibly they can, or have the ability to be invisible when they want to be. The good news is that I now realize I need to join Unorganized Anonymous....the bad news is I need to find an official document.