Query Query.......

I love my Iphone....I really do. I love most everything about it. I have lots of Apps I use daily. I have my favorite news apps, I use Google maps, I love to play Words With Friends and Hanging With Friends. I search the internet on it. I like it's purple case. I like that I can take pics of things and store them. I read on my Kindle app while waiting for things. I look up words in the Dictionary. I get on Facebook and Twitter. I so love ICloud, but have no clue what it does. Are you waiting for my Query? I thought you were. I'm a straight up kind of girl.....I like my Iphone to be vertical. Can someone please tell me why the screen sometimes does the sideways thing? Now, before you think I'm a complete idiot, I do know that when I turn it a certain way....oops..there goes the screen. But sometimes I swear it does it when I lay it down. I hate that...then the twisting and turning begins. It's like one of those hand held games with the little silver balls that you're trying to get to follow a path. This frustrates me to no end. Once it starts that gyrating,I swear it just keeps on because somehow...maybe Icloud.....knows it exasperates me. Many times it goes on so long I'm dizzy.......notice I said dizzy.....not diTzy. I'm sure my bobbing head makes me look like an idiot when I'm trying to follow the back and forth of the screen. People probably think I'm some poor old woman who has escaped from the Home and is trying to find her way back. Do you think that's what I look like? DON'T answer!! I wonder if I can lock the screen where it won't do that? You may answer that. That's my QUERY!