Can You Imagine? I Can't!!

I have no friends nor family who love me. I know you possibly think I exaggerate, but I don't. None, nada.....zilch. Here is how I know.....quit reading if you can't stand gross detail. Just stop now. I won't blame you. I promise. But for those of you who have a very morbid sense of life, I'm going to continue because my psyche needs this and we all know it's ALL ABOUT ME! Yesterday I was getting ready to leave the house. I'm standing in front of my mirror...really really close cause I'm blind. I have to stand with my face nearly touching said mirror in order to even see my face....I digress. There in the mirror.....take a deep breath.....was a CHIN HAIR that was 45 feet long, it had been growing for at least a decade. I mean I turned around to see if it was winding out the bathroom door.....it was...... and through our bedroom .....you get the point. It was horrendous. It was horrific. It was truly mesmerizing. I wondered at that moment how I had walked around for the last 10 years without tripping. Just lucky I guess. Now, I ask you.....if I had a friend or family member who truly loved me.......wouldn't you think someone would have said something during these 120 months this chin hair has been growing? I mean come on............I wonder how I've managed not to get it caught in my car door. I wonder if it would qualify for Locks of Love. I'm in the process of contacting the Guiness Book of World Records. I'm sure I'll have statue depicting me and my chin hair in Tussaud's House of Wax. I'm certain at that point my friends and family will want free tickets; they'll be denied. I am a ship without a port, but I do have an oar....and it's 45 feet long.